Well it's been about a month since I've wrote in here.  There is just too much on my mind.  Then I realized, what better way to figure things out than by writing about them.  This time of year is supposed to be peaceful and joyous.  However, it's been nothing of the sort.  I'm trying to figure out what presents I have, what else I have to buy, who else I have to by for and whatnot.  For my father, I bought him a GPS, a shrimp cleaner, and a wine preserver.  I figured the GPS would be a good gift because we wouldn't have to worry about how to get somewhere and that kind of stuff.  I bought him the shrimp cleaner because he loves shrimp and loves cooking them.  We used to have one but we lost it along the way somewhere, whether it was at a party of someone's house.  I'm not really sure.  I bought the wine preserver because he recently made his own wine with a group of people.  So I figured that it would be a nice little gift.  In addition to all of those gifts, I bought personalized wine labels to put on the bottles after he fills them with wine.  On the top it will have the year and underneath that we planned on calling it "Guido Murphy".  We chose Guido Murphy because my father is an Irishman making Italian wine.  Also, my parents always had a dream to open their own restaurant.  They always said that they would call it Guido Murphy and make it a cross between Italian and Irish cuisine.  Anyway, for my mother, she told me she wanted the Wii Fit game.  So I bought that, and I also bought her one of those digital picture frames that displays a series of pictures from your camera card.  I want to get her a corner piece for the top of the staircase too, because she's been trying to find one for months.  She's also been wanting a 4 draw file cabinet this way we can keep all kinds of papers and documents in a safe place instead of plastered all over the dining room table.  I also wanted to take a picture of her and my father and blow it up and put it in a frame for her room.  For my sister, I bought her a purple sweater dress that she wanted.  I also bought her a long sleeve t-shirt with the 2-fingered peace hand gesture on it in red white and blue.  I also have to get her a hat that she wanted it.  I don't really know how to describe it.  It's a cross between a baret and a beanie hat.  Aside from that, she also wanted an indoor scarf with a series of peace signs on it.  For my brother I didn't go all out because I don't know what he really wants nor do I want to spend a bunch of money if he's not going to appreciate anything.  I bought him a Mets jacket and pants nylon suit.  I think he'd love that seeing as how he is a die hard Mets fan.

All the presents and gifts don't mean what they should.  Christmas and the overall holiday season used to be the season for giving, but now things are too complicated.  There was never any drama when it came to this time.  Maybe it was always there but I never realized because I was the typical naive kid.  I'm not really sure.  I miss the excitement on Christmas Eve.  I used to have such trouble falling asleep because I was extremely overjoyed and thrilled for the morning to come.  I made sure that the milk was there and that the cookies were out just in case Santa was a little hungry or thirsty.

As an adult, the season has turned to nothing but stress and aggravation. I'm sick of shopping and cleaning and decorating and all the senseless stuff that used to be a joy but now has only become something that has to get done.